In his recent movie, “The Devil Wears a Stupid Grin and is named George”, Al Gore establishes two disturbing facts: 1) It’s getting hotter and 2) There are people who will shell out ten bucks for what looks a lot like an Al Gore PowerPoint Presentation.

Like many Americans, I live in the United States, or as I like to refer to it, “God’s Easy-Bake- Oven.” And the heat situation in the heartland is getting dangerous. Three people in Arkansas died climbing into microwaves to cool off. It’s hot!

People in Hell are reading their newspapers and laughing, “Thank God we don’t live there anymore!” Actually I don’t know if people in Hell would be allowed to say, “Thank God.” I don’t know if they even have newspapers in Hell. But I bet if they do, the Sudoku is nothing but blank squares and the only comic strip they get is “Apt. 3G.”

It’s dangerous out there. I was struck by heat exhaustion just trying to put gas in my car. With gas at $3.50 a gallon, it only takes five minutes to actually fill up the tank, but I was out there for hours trying to find a co- signer.

I don’t think I would have made it home if someone hadn’t offered me a cold compress. That cool, soft material draped over my face was a life saver. The only annoying thing was the honking and screaming from the other drivers on the road.

And here’s my main question. If Al Gore is so smart that he could forecast the effects of global warming, how come he couldn’t predict the result of a six Twinkie-a-day diet?